高考英语读后续写:示例与写作 训练9(含解析)
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1、读后续写示例与写作训练9【写作示例】【原文呈现】阅读下面短文,根据所给情节进行续写,使之构成一个完整的故事。The passengers on the bus watched sympathetically as the attractive young woman with a white walking stick made her way carefully up the steps. She paid the driver and, found the seat hed told her was empty. Then she settled in and rested her sti
2、ck against her leg.It had been a year since Susan became blind. Due to a medical misdiagnosis(误诊), she was suddenly thrown into a world of darkness and frustration. And all she had to depend on was her husband, Mark.Mark was an Air Force officer. When she first lost her sight, he watched her sink in
3、to hopelessness and was determined to help he gain the confidence.Finally, Susan felt ready to return to her job, but how would she get there? She was now too frightened to get around the city by herself. So, Mark drove her to work each day, even though they worked at opposite ends of the city.At fi
4、rst, this comforted Susan. Soon, however, Mark realized the necessity for Susan to become independent and wanted her to start taking the bus again. Just as expected, Susan was afraid of this idea. But Make promised Susan that he would ride the bus with her until she got the hang of it.For two weeks,
5、 Mark, in military uniform accompanied Susan to and from work each day. He taught her how to rely on her other senses, specifically her hearing, to tell where she was and how to adapt to her new surroundings.At last, Susan decided that she was ready to try on her own. Monday morning arrived, and bef
6、ore she left, she hugged Mark. Her eyes was filled with tears of gratitude for his patience and love. She said good-bye, and for the first time, they went their separate ways.Each day went perfectly, and Susan had never felt better. She made it.On Friday morning, Susan took the bus to work as usual.
7、 As she was paying for the bus fare, the driver said, “Lady, I sure do envy you.” (340 words)注意:1. 所续写短文的词数应为150左右;2. 应使用5个以上短文标有下划线的关键词语;3. 续写部分分为两段,每段的开头语以为你写好;4. 续写完成后,请用下划线标出你所使用的关键词。Paragraph 1: Curious, she asked the driver, “Why do you say that you envy me?”_Paragraph 2: Tears of happiness po
8、ured down Susans cheeks._【思维路径】核心内容 文本主要内容为:一位女士因失明而感到沮丧与绝望,丈夫陪伴她重建自信。在她害怕独自出门时,她丈夫每天开车接送她上下班。为了让她重新独立起来,她丈夫说服她重新坐公交车上班。一开始,他陪她一同坐公交车,教她学会用其他的感官去判断位置。两周后,女士决定独自出行,一切都很顺利。在第五天早上上车之后,司机表达了对她的羡慕。写作思路(1)明确故事人物关系(characters)。故事中主要人物为失明的女士Susan,她的丈夫Mark以及公交车司机。(2)理清故事主要事件(events)。丈夫陪失明的妻子每天坐公交车上下班两周后,妻子开始
9、自己坐公交车。在她独自出行的第五天,公交车司机表达了对她的羡慕。(3)根据已知人物、事件及续写段落首句预测故事发展(development)。故事总体的发展应该是司机告诉Susan羡慕她的原因。因为司机叙述的这个原因,Susan流下了幸福的眼泪。可以结合前文表达的Mark对Susan的耐心与爱,预测这个原因可能是因为Mark每天都在暗中跟着Susan上下班,为了保证她的安全。续写第一段:Susan问司机为何羡慕她,司机告诉她羡慕她的原因是因为她有一个非常爱她的人。他看到她丈夫每天都看着她坐公交车安全到达办公室才离开,表达了对她浓浓的爱意。续写第二段:Susan听完之后流下了幸福的眼泪。或许她回
10、忆起Mark一直以来对她的爱和照顾,并因此而感到幸福与感动;或许她开始想象回想这一周上班的经历,回忆着Mark在周围暗中关注她的迹象;也有可能她回家后表达了对Mark所做的一切的感动,表达了她的幸运与对丈夫的爱。(4)结合下划线词罗列写作要点(points)。结合下划线词和文本内容,展开尽可能丰富的想象,罗列出尽可能多的故事发展情节。例如,第一段可以通过问以下问题来获取写作要点“Why did the driver envy Susan? What would be the possible answer? What would the driver say? Did it have anyt
11、hing to do with Susans husband, Mark? 等”;第二段可以问以下问题来获取写作要点:What would Susan think? What might be her futher reaction? What would she do? 等”。参考范文Curious, she asked the driver, “Why do you say that you envy me?” The driver responded, “It must feel good to be taken care of and protected like you are.”
12、Confused, Susan asked again, “What do you mean?” The driver explained, “Well, you know, every morning for the past week, a fine looking gentleman in a military uniform has been standing across the corner watching you as you get off the bus. He makes sure you cross the street safely and he watches un
13、til you enter your office building. Then he blows you a kiss and walks away. You are a lucky lady.”Tears of happiness poured down Susans cheeks. Although she couldnt see him with her eyes, she had always felt that Mark was just there. She was such a lucky and happy lady, for her husband had given he
14、r a gift more powerful than sight, a gift that she could feel and didnt need to seethe gift of love that can bring light where there is darkness. (150 words)范文解析范文围绕文章的内容进行了合情合理的拓展。给出的两段开头分别为Susan 好奇地问司机为何羡慕她,以及Susan留下幸福的眼泪。因此第一段主要写司机对Susan的这一问题进行回答,而这一原因是Susan的丈夫为确保安全而每天暗暗陪伴她上班,因而让Susan流下了幸福的眼泪。第二段
15、写Susan知道之后的心理活动,包括回顾这几天坐公交车有被陪伴的感觉,以及对丈夫的这种无微不至的爱的感动。范文最后一句写了这份爱“照亮”了Susan黑暗的世界,既与她失明这一事实想结合,又升华了主题。提炼归纳1. 合理拓展情节读后续写首先要读通给定文本,把握故事的人物和事件。在此基础上根据提示对故事的发展作出合情合理又合乎逻辑的预测。为了将预测过程显性化,可以通过设问的方式,将预测重点以问题的方式显示出来,以利后续写作时的心理整理和语言组织。在该练习中,我们通过7个问题来拓展并整理自己的写作思路,这7个问题以“司机羡慕Susan的原因”以及“Susan由此做出的反应”为主体,之间有一定的逻辑关
16、系,符合故事发展的合理结局。2. 有效运用衔接手段在具体的写作过程中我们要对罗列的要点进行筛选和整合,还要考虑写作要点之间连接手段(connectives)的有效运用,例如在范文中,我们用了“until”,“although”,“for”等连词,使得小句间的逻辑关系更清晰明了,文章更加连贯。同时,我们也使用了“waching ”和“confused”这样的非谓语动词结构作伴随状语和原因状语,使得行文更加流畅,语言更加地道。【写作演练】1.阅读下面短文,根据所给情节进行续写,使之构成一个完整的故事。At Danas yard sale, Tim chose a baseball from the
17、 toys spread on the card table and asked about the price. Dana told him everything was a quarter except Nezumi, a cotton toy rat. It was grey with some cotton sticking out from the hole where an ear had been torn off.“Nezumi is extra special, so he is ten dollars. He needs a safe new home.” Dana sig
18、hed. Tim laughed saying he didnt have ten dollars. Dana laughed too and gave Nezumi to Tim as a free gift because he was her friend. When Tim whispered it was sort of old, Dana said old toys were the best. She then invited Tim to her birthday party the next evening, adding that her parents were givi
19、ng her a real rat for her birthday. Tim was amazed and asked if it was a live rat.“Of course.” Dana said.At home, Tims mother showed him the gift she had bought for Dana. It was a knitting spool(针织线轴) shaped like a mushroom. Mom said Dana could knit a scarf for her doll. Tim sighed that Dana wasnt a
20、 knitting kind of person but a rat kind of person. Mom laughed after knowing what had happened. Together they drove to the pet store, where Tim searched and searched and selected a clear plastic ball, one in which the rat could run around on the floor safe from cats and dogs. Tim thought of Nezumis
21、ear and decided Danas new rat would need this ball.The next day, Dana brought cupcakes to class. When she handed a cupcake to Tim, she asked if Tim brought Nezumi to school as Nezumi liked to ride in backpacks. Tim was at a loss because Nezumi was at home on his bed. Then Dana asked what gift he was
22、 giving her. Tim replied it was a surprise. In silence they sat for a while before he heard Dana say her parents were giving her a new bike for her birthday instead of a live rat because they thought rats would bite things.注意:1. 所续写的短文词数应为 150 左右;2. 续写部分分为两段,每段的开头语已为你写好;Para 1:At home that afternoon
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