高中考试英语——概要写作示例与写作训练6
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1、概要写作示例与写作训练6【写作示例】【原文呈现】阅读下面短文,根据其内容写一篇60词左右的内容概要。Much meaning can be conveyed, clearly, with our eyes, so it is often said that eyes can speak.Do you have such kind of experience? In a bus you may look at stranger, but not too long. And if he is sensing that he is being stared at, he may feel uncom
2、fortable. The same in daily life. If you are looked at for more than necessary, you will look at yourself up and down, to see if there is anything wrong with you. If nothing goes wrong, you will feel angry toward others stare with you that way. Eyes do speak, right?Looking too long at someone may se
3、em to be rude and aggressive. But things are different when it comes to stare at the opposite sex. If a man glances at a woman for more than 10 seconds and refuses to avert his gaze, his intentions are obvious, that is, he wishes to attract her attention, to make her understand that he is admiring h
4、er.However, the normal eye contact for two people engaged in conversation is that the speaker will only look at the listener from time to time, in order to make sure that the listener does pay attention to what the former is speaking, to tell him that he is attentive. If a speaker looks at you conti
5、nuously when speaking, as if he tries to dominate you, you will feel disconcerted. A poor liar usually exposes himself by looking too long at the victim, since he believes in the false idea that to look straight in the eye is a sign of honest communication. Quite the contrary. In fact, continuous ey
6、e contact is confined to lovers only, who will enjoy looking at each other tenderly for a long time, to show affection that words cannot express.Evidently, eye contact should be done according to the relationship between two people and the specific situation.【思维路径】核心内容 本文是一篇说明文,全文共分五段。第一段是此篇文章的总起段,引
7、出”eyes can speak”这个话题。第二段以在公共汽车上和日常生活中的两个例子来验证第一段眼神能够说话这个话题,并给出一种观点是不恰当的注视会引起被注视人的尴尬和误解。第三段介绍了一种人们都默许并认可的长久的注视,即男女之间感情的传达的眼神交流。第四段则转折出谈话时人们之间该有的正常的眼神交流方法方式,并再次论证了长久的注视只应存在在彼此有好感的男女之间。第五段为本文的总结收尾段落,眼神交流的方式应随两个人之间的不同关系和不同场景而做出相应的调整。写作思路(1)理清文章脉络、概括段落大意。理清文章脉络、概括段落大意是写摘要的基础,同学们可以通过找主题句、分析段落的逻辑关系来梳理文章的脉
8、络,概括大意。该文第一段的主题句是eyes can speak,同时也是整篇文章的中心句;第二,三,四段都是对第一段主题句的解释和说明。其中第二段主要内容为两个例子,因此没有明显的主题句。第三段主题句可以归纳为”look too long at the opposite sex is normal and acceptable”.第四段的中心句为”the normal eye contact for two people engaged in conversation is that the speaker will only look at the listener from time to
9、 time”。第五段为本文总结段落,简洁明了,故主题句即为该整个段落中的唯一一句话,”eye contact should be done according to the relationship between two people and the specific situation”.(2)确定表达要点、灵活准确表达。每段的段落大意都是我们要表达的要点,这可以确保不漏点。本文的摘要要把全文第一句作为一个要点,因为它是全文的逻辑起点。在确定表达要点后要思考如何准确灵活表达,这是难点。因为评分标准要求完全使用自己的语言。灵活表达的重要技巧是对原来的语言进行同义替换(paraphrase),
10、同时要对相关内容进行整合。第一段是总起段,内容相对简单,包含一个要点(要点1),即“eyes can speak”。第二段的要点即为两个例子:”being stare at in a bus”和”being looked at for more than necessary”.但是在写摘要时没有必要把例子也写清楚,所以就可以直接说”two examples point out that”(要点2)。第三段中用”but”引出了要点3,注视相同性别的人太久被认为是粗鲁和不礼貌的,那么看异性就可以表达为”normal and acceptable”.第四段用however来承接出要点4,即在谈话时正
11、常的眼神交流应该是怎么样的,文章中表达为” look at the listener from time to time”,可以paraphrase为”it is also uncomfortable for people to give unnecessary eye contact to the listener continuously”. 最后一段中要点5为文章的总结性话语,在摘要中体现关键字”relationship”和”situation”即可。参考范文 People can convey meanings by eyes(要点1),but they will feel stran
12、ge if they were stared at too long(要点2). In fact, only when it happens to the opposite sex, it would be considered as a normal phenomenon(要点3). Besides, in a conversation, it is also uncomfortable for people to give unnecessary eye contact to the listener continuously(要点4). Therefore, the meeting of
13、 eyes depends on the situation and the relationship between two people(要点5). (70words)范文解析 范文把原文中的被动句要点1替换成主动句式以避免重复利用原文,并将要点1与要点2用连词but进行连接。要点3是将原文第三段中的第一句话和第二句话的意思用“only when.”的句式合并成了一个句子。要点4是对另一个特殊场合,即对话时,进行介绍,因此与前几个要点成并列关系,故用”besides”来承接。并且在要点4中,用”continuously”替换”from time to time”。要点5是范文的总结部分,所
14、以用”therefore”连接,并用”it all depends on”替换”eye contact should be done”。提炼归纳 1. 巧用句型巧用句型不仅是原有作文题型中要求的一项提分技能,更是新题型概要写作中的一项增分且实用的技能。将字数较多的原文缩写成60字左右的概要,一个重要的技巧就是学会运用各种学过的句型,尤其是从句的使用。范文中的第一句是将原来的两个简单句”People can convey meanings by eyes”和”people will feel strange if they were stared at too long”合并为一个复合句”Peo
15、ple can convey meanings by eyes,but they will feel strange if they were stared at too long”,并且在这个复合句中又巧用了if引导的条件状语从句,将原文中原本复杂的例子体现在一个简短的从句中。因此多使用不同句型的句子不仅能减少字数的使用,而且能使整个文章更加精致和有内容。2. 语义转换语义转换(paraphrase)是新题型概要写作中很重要的一项基本技能,因为评价标准对“使用自己的语言进行观点的独立表达”有较高的要求。此外,这也是整个英语学习过程中比须掌握的一项交际技能。本范文中我们将“eye contac
16、t眼神交流”表达为“the meeting of eyes”。同时,本文中一直出现的”too long”和”from time to time”可以转换为”continuously”,三者实际上表达的是一个意思,都说明眼神交流的时间过长或过频繁。这可以避免重复原文内容,使用不同的语言进行准确的表达。【写作演练】1.阅读下面短文,根据其内容写一篇60词左右的内容概要。Not all education can and should happen within the classroom. Sometimes, traveling is the best form of education, as
17、 students can get a number of personal and educational benefits from travel. From learning about other cultures first-hand to seeing where historical events took place with their own eyes, educational travel gives students the opportunity to deepen their understanding of art, science, history, and c
18、ulture in many ways.Educational becomes a whole new experience when students can see lots of tools and equipment for themselves by traveling to different places. The tools and equipment could be used by scientists decades or even centuries ago to make discoveries that make our modern world possible.
19、 Educational travel brings the materials off the pages and into reality, allowing students to connect themselves with them in a more meaningful way.No matter where students go, its almost guaranteed that theyll find some kind of food that is unique to that place or done better than anywhere else. If
20、 someone gets Chicago-style pizza in Chicago, theyre going to have a different tasting experience than they would if they were getting the same type of thing in, say, Texas. At the same time, getting chili in Texas would be a whole different experience from getting chili in New York or Chicago. Stud
21、ents can learn a lot about a culture by what they eat on a daily basis and what they consider a special meal, so its good to take a taste of the local food and learn through all of the senses.Being away from family, home, and familiar ground is a courageous and independent adventure in its own right
22、. Educational travel provides that opportunity to allow students to open their minds regarding how they choose to live life, which can be extraordinarily helpful in preparing students for college and adulthood. Traveling with the combined social skills and perspectives(视角) it teaches really allows s
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